My Toughest Case So Far

I want to introduce you to Carl. This is Carl. I'm sure he would respond (or at least gurgle) if this were reality and something more than a picture.

Normally I would protect the name of my clients but seeing as how I'm not, nor is anyone, sure "Carl" is this gentleman's real name, I hardly seem bothered. Though I've been working in matchmaking for a fairly short amount of time, I consider Carl to be my hardest case so far.

For those of you wondering, yes, Carl is wearing a diaper. I assure you this is not for fashion reasons (or because he thinks he's clever by being different) it serves a functional purpose as Carl is prone to relieving himself several times a day without consideration as to whether or not he's near a toilet. Why would I take on such a client? How did I find such a client? What the hell do I do with such a client? All fair questions, allow me to explain.

Carl, as you might have guessed, is not an entirely mentally stable person. In fact, the State of Virginia has gone so far as to label Carl "mentally unstable" a classification which is applied to many of his fellow incarcerates in the Vienna Falls Psychiatric and Mental Ward lock-down facility (conveniently located near to the Vienna Falls metro so I didn't need to get a bus!).

Normally I wouldn't accept such clients but a friend of mine, "Susie", says I owe her for borrowing her blender to make margarettas last weekend. Susie works with Carl as a part-time nurse (she's volunteering to increase her chances when she applies to med school next year). Anyway, Carl's normal doctor himself is recently recovering from a mental breakdown (unrelated) and Carl's between attending physicians. Susie's become tired of having Carl reach for her chest every time she replaces his juice. His calls of "WO-MAN" in a Scottish accent can apparently be heard to echo down the ward's hallways so Suz thought it was time to do something. She suggested I come in "just to take a peek" and as the job counts as "consiliatory care" it pays a sound weekly wage since it's state financed. Yeah!

I first considered pairing Carl with someone more like him (e.g. female and nuts) but according to Susie, all I have to do is convince Carl that he's not alone. While I'm looking for someone to hook him up with, I've given Carl a hand puppet but he's been using the hole for other activities. For a brief moment I considered giving him a rabbit (I hear kittens are very good with gorillas) but after reading of Mice and Men, I'm convinced that's a BAD idea! I'll keep you updated on Carl's progress as I go along.